Faker than You!!

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Sarah Huckabee-Sanders was present at a recent publishing event to promote her new children’s book “Faker than You!“. I was fortunate to be able to pull her aside for a brief interview which follows:

BBF: So nice to meet you Ms. Sanders.

SHS: Nice to meet you too Bobby, I hope you get over your cold real soon.

BBF: I don’t have a cold.

SHS: It sure looks like it Bobby, your nose is all inflamed and red!

BBF: It could have been the schnapps. But enough about me, please tell us how you came to write your new book.

SHS: Well Bobby, after working in the Whitehouse for a few months it came to me that if someone who is a serial liar, a bigot, a misogynist and massively incompetent can become President, then there is hope for all kids. The message for them is that no matter how horrible a person you are, or how completely incompetent you may be, if you have enough hubris and the ability to bullshit, you can be successful. This is the real inspiration of our President. Every kid thinks they can do what he does, since you don’t need to be a decent person or have any real skills to rise to the top.

BBF: What a wonderful message. I learned early on in my life that I could go a long way by learning to make stuff up, but sound really confident and sincere and by being super aggressive. It is about time kids learned these valuable lessons.

SHS: Right you are Bobby, our President has shown us his true leadership by inspiring a whole generation of kids. I only hope my book can show them the way.

BBF: I really enjoyed how you made your messaging in the book so easy to understand for kids. I particularly liked the part about how to get what you want by being a bully. I believe the tagline you use in the book is: “Loud, Rude and Pushy”. The illustrations are great too. I enjoyed the one where you show that bigger aggressive teddy bear beating the stuffing out of the little one. Finally we have a children’s book that really shows us the truth!

SHS: Right again Bobby! You aren’t going to get ahead by being that shy little bear that has the stuffing ripped out of him on a regular basis. If you want to get ahead, be the beater, not the beaten!

BBF: Finally Sarah, can you tell us how you picked the title for you book: “Faker than You!“?

SHS: Sure Bobby. You have certainly heard the President go on and on about “fake news”, right? Well here is the thing. You can be as fake as you want and as big a fake as you want as long as you keep pointing to others as being the fakes. When you do that you put others on the defensive and you can go on doing whatever fake stuff you want. Let’s face it, the truth is overrated. You are better off to just make stuff up that makes you look good and others look bad, that’s how you get ahead. Make up your own facts and just keep repeating them as if they are true, it sure works for me and the President and I know it can work for kids too.

BBF: Well thank you Sarah, this has been very informative and good luck on your future ventures.

SHS: Thanks Bobby and stay tuned for my next book “Blowing up the World“.

BBF: Well Sarah that sounds both ominous and exciting, so long for now.

That was the end of my little interview. It sure is nice to meet someone with a firm grip on reality, who can really speak to kids.

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Big Bobby Fakey has been making up stuff since he convinced his grade 3 teacher, Mrs. Bell, that he was in a CIA spy training program for kids. He told her it works so well since nobody would believe an 8 year old could be a spy. He hasn't done homework since!

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