Help for Trump Apologists

I have been watching all of the Trump spokespersons for sometime and I am amazed at how flexible they are when it comes to presenting the truth, or trying to workaround the latest Trumpism, to make it sound at least halfway believable.

These folks need our help, and I Fred Moople, have a fabulous solution.

In my younger days I used to play a game called “Twister”. My friends and I would twist ourselves into the weirdest positions with this wonderful game. It also allowed me to get close to girls who wouldn’t even give me a second look.

The game is just a big plastic sheet with some big colored dots on it. Someone would randomly select a color (the dot) and an appendage and you have to put your appendage (arm or leg) on a dot of that color. It get’s real fun when you have several people trying to do this over several turns.

When I think back on it, it seems to me this is the perfect solution for Trump apologists, since they have to continually contort themselves into weird positions in order to explain away the latest statements from Donald Trump.

So I recommend, before any public presentation or interview they play a few rounds of twister and learn how to smile hugely while they are contorted into to strange and painful positions. After doing that for 30 minutes they will be ready for anything.

As always, I remain your humble and twisted servant, Fred “the twister” Moople.

Editor’s Note: Fred has expanded his article for the alt-right who now have to explain how non-interventionist Trump turned into a war-monger.

Hey all, I had to do a quick update for those on the alt-right. Sure Donald Trump was against getting the US involved in foreign wars during his campaign, and now… not so much. So get out your twister game and start twisting, because you are really going to need it to help you explain how the shift in the Trump position could have happened. I know you can do it, just claim he is being manipulated or he is just posturing or… some other crap. No need to admit he has never had a solid position on anything, ’cause that would make him look like he is a phony and a liar and we can’t have that. So keep smiling and twisting your way through your explanations. An hour of twister a day, will probably be very helpful.

Have a great twisty day!

• FM