How to Ignore People

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Hey man, it’s been a great day, my local bar, had a twofer sale, that’s a two for one beer deal. I am drunker than toby’s dump truck and feeling like I can rule the world. But hey, ruling the world has it drawbacks, so I have some advice for my favorite guy Donald Trump.

Listen old pal, you have to learn how to ignore people. I know it’s tough when you want to take a punch at them or tweet out how much they suck huge, but sometimes you gotta just stay cool. It’s really easy for me to do since I am blasted most of the time and I don’t even hear most of what people say, but for you man, you gotta chill a bit.

Here is how you do it. Try to imagine them naked and that your are groping them, that will surely bring a smile to your face and you may be able to restrain yourself from being super over-reactive, cause frankly sometimes that just looks a little whiny. Whining just ain’t good for anyone. My aunt Mable used to whine all the time until uncle Toby locked her in the root cellar for two days and she had no one to talk to but the rats. She was a different person after that experience. I see her at the bar a lot more now too.

To get back to my original point, you gotta ignore all those people who just don’t understand that you gotta do what you do and they gotta stop complaining and making fun of you. By the way, having your hands enlarged in that Whitehouse photo was a good play. I do that with other parts of my anatomy too, if you know what I mean, wink wink.

So big fella, just ignore them and watch more tv and have some snacks too. I know you don’t drink but you can always gets some prescription meds to make life easier. These days doctors will pretty much give you anything for any reason and since you are the President, what can they say?

Ok it’s over and out from your old pal who you have never met. See you on TV.

— Donnie

 

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Donnie Drunkard stumbled into the Old Strathcona offices on his way to the bar and he has never left. Too bad we decided to put a keg in the coffee room. Donnie sees the world through an alcoholic haze, and is convinced that he is a stable genius.

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