Making sh*t up

Hey all my loyal fans and detractors, it’s Donnie Drunkard here comin’ at you from Bob’s Beer and Billiards. I just want to let you know that I have always got my nose to the grindstone, my ear to the wind and my face on the floor!

Today’s post is all about how to make sh*t up. We all do it from time to time, but my guy Donald Trump is the master at making sh*t up. Not only does he make it up, but he just keeps repeating the same sh*t until people thinks its true! I tell you, the guy is amazing.

Remember that story he told about all those Muslims in New Jersey celebrating on 9/11. He made it up! Nice one Donald. Never admit you made it up, just keep saying its true. By the way when you say something is true, you can kinda come at it from an angle, if you know what I mean. So you say stuff like “people are saying…” and the repeat the sh*t. You can also say “I have been hearing…” and then repeat the sh*t. Ok, here’s another one, you can say “Someone gave me that”, as if it came from some random source. Pretty smart eh? You see how it works. Even better, when the press inevitably starts to report on it, you can say they started it and you are just commenting on what they are producing. Then you are commenting on them and they are commenting on your comment and so on. Once that starts you can’t possibly tell where the sh*t started or ended. It is amazing, is it not?

I gotta say when it comes to making sh*t up, I thought I was pretty good, like the time I made up that story about uncle Toby can read minds. That one went on for weeks and he made a few bucks on it too. Like I say, I thought I was good at making sh*t up, but my guy Donald has me beat.

Next time I will address a related topic, which is how to take credit for the stuff other people do, and how to blame others for your own screw-ups. I am so good at this that I should have been an instructor at Trump University. I could have taught them all kinds of sh*t.

Ok, over and out for now, I gotta try and explain why I can’t pay my bar tab.