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Michael Cohen

Hey all you right wing clunks, its your old pal Donnie Drunkard here, comin’ at you from Bob’s Beer and Billiards.

Today’s topic is Michael Cohen, my pal Donald Trump’s personal lawyer. I am totally missing out on the benefits of having Michael Cohen as my lawyer! According to Sean Hannity he works for 10 bucks a session and Cohen himself claims he pays off pornstars with his own cash! How good is that!

The reason I ask, is that I have been ploughing pornstars and playmates for years and I need a lawyer to represent me when the shit hits the fan. Michael Cohen, you are my kind of guy!

I can pay him with beer money and he will get me off the hook with all the playmates and pornstars I have been climbing onto for years. I love the part where he uses his own money for the payoff, because I am broke. I spent all my cash on booze.

I hope Michael doesn’t end up getting busted, ’cause that would be a huge loss for all of us pornstar and playmate poppers. All my best Michael! Call me!


Donnie Drunkard stumbled into the Old Strathcona offices on his way to the bar and he has never left. Too bad we decided to put a keg in the coffee room. Donnie sees the world through an alcoholic haze, and is convinced that he is a stable genius.

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