Prison Fashions for Kriminal Kiddies


During Melania Trump’s recent visit to a child detention center in Texas, she went all out to show the kids, whom she referred to as “little criminals”, that she is compassionate.

She unveiled her new line of fashions, under the brand “Kriminal Kiddies”. As she explained, these outfits are designed for kids held in detention separate from their parents. “These kids may be little criminals, but we are not heartless. They deserve to have cool designer prison garb while they are incarcerated.”

Ms. Trump’s line of clothes, featured colorful stripes that looked like colorized versions of the old black and white prison uniforms. She also updated the traditional orange prison jumpsuits by embossing them with cool cartoons of imprisoned cartoon characters.

“Our fashions are perfect for these kids and can be accessorized with full face hoodies, shackles and for formal affairs, our faux-gold ball and chain.”, explained Ms. Trump.

During the First Lady’s visit, a makeshift catwalk was constructed of discarded fruit crates to allow some of the lucky “Kriminal Kiddies” to model her new fashions. The local Republican Women’s Club applauded enthusiastically as each child shuffled morosely down the catwalk.

The highlight of the show featured all of the “Kriminal Kiddies” walking en masse along the makeshift catwalk wearing grey drab t-shirts emblazoned with the slogan “ICE is the HEAT”. The audience cheered enthusiastically as the kids shuffled along.

“I was so happy to bring a little light into these dark cells for these kids. Their parents will be able to purchase these wonderful outfits at 30% off our usual retail price for the next 30 days. So I hope they act fast!”, she exclaimed with pride.

Looks like compassion still lives.


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