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Problem Solving for Neanderthals

Hello all, Fred Moople here.

I am happy to report that I am now the Executive Director of the Moople Academy for Advanced Learning. We are currently assembling our classrooms from discarded fruit crates, so it may be a while before we are totally up and running. Nonetheless, I want to tell you about a wonderful new learning opportunity.

We always have our fingers on the pulse of current events, and having observed how problem solving is executed in all of our major disciplines, we have observed a particular paradigm. The paradigm is called “Neanderthal Problem Solving”.

How do Neanderthals solve problems? Simple, they beat things with clubs. If you see something you don’t like, you just keep bashing it with a club until it dies or goes away. Pretty effective, right?  Today, nobody talks about neanderthals bashing things with clubs, anymore, they talk about making war as a method of solving problems, but it really is just that same thing. Of course, we now have more sophisticated weaponry in each discipline of application. Let’s take a look.


How do we get rid of cancer? Simple, we declare war on it and bash it to death with chemicals and radiation. Once it is beaten to death, all is well, right?

Legal System

Our current legal systems are based on combat. Each side gets an advocate and they try to beat each others brains out until someone get’s declared the winner.


It’s very simple, whatever the other side says is wrong and whatever your side says is right. Make up half-truths (the club) and just keeping hitting your political opponents over and over with them. Sooner or later they will fall down.


Drop bombs on the other guys until they give up or die. Keep telling everyone, the only way to be safe is to create danger for others. A winning formula!


Keep thrashing away with the same approach whether it works or not. Believing in a theory (the club) is more important than getting results.

As you can see this type of problem-solving has very wide applications, that is why the Moople Academy for Advance Learning is offering these valuable lessons and if you don’t believe me, my buddy Grunt will keep slapping you, until you see the light!





I may look like a geek, but really I am a super cool dude!
I love to read and play fun games. My favorite foods are hot dogs, cheezies and skittles.
I have an I.Q. of 185

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