In the immortal words of Violet Crawley, “What is a weekend?”. With Old Harold’s retirement,…
Hello all you loyal Trumpists, it’s me Donnie Drunkard coming at you from the tv studio at Bob’s Beer and Billiards.
Bob, the owner of Bob’s Beer and Billiards, has finally figured out that success on tv is different from success in reality. He has figured that out by watching my guy Donald Trump. I have been telling him for ages, you gotta sound good and look good and you will do good, even if you aren’t good, if you know what I mean. It’s all about appearances.
Take this place for example, it may look like a bit of a dump, but if we tell folks it is great, the food is great and the pool tables are great, people start to believe you in spite of the fact that the place is pretty run down. You see where I am going with this? Looking good is more important than being good! My guy Donald Trump figured that out a long time ago, when he was doing a reality tv show.
We have now convinced our loyal customers here at Bob’s Beer and Billiards that we are a reality tv show and they are all a part of it. We couldn’t afford real cameras, so Bob went out and got a bunch of those phony security cams with the flashing light on the front. So cool, it looks like they are really recording us.
We have a session everyday where the guys get to do an interview on how great they think the Trump Presidency is. It’s completely fake, but they are so drunk, they forget all about it the next day.
So my hat is off to my guy Donald Trump. He is running the biggest reality tv show on the planet. He knows how to tell people how great things are whether they are or not. He also knows how to ignore all the bad stuff that happens and take credit, as loudly as possible, for the good stuff that happens, even if he has nothing to do with it. Reality tv at its’ best!
Once again we are learning that you can be great all the time even when you aren’t. Isn’t that awesome? I am loving it and I tell myself everyday how great I am even when I get drunk and fall down the stairs. As I am lying at the bottom of the stairs I give myself style points for the quality of my crash. You see, there is always a light at the end of the tunnel or in this case a shiny floor at the bottom of your fall.
Hope you all have a great day!