Hey it's your old Pal Donnie Drunkard and I am back and badder than ever!…
Hey all, it’s Donnie Drunkard here, once again coming at you from the bunker at Bob’s Beer and Billiards. I am in the bunker because I heard about the MOAB (Mother of all bombs) being dropped over in Afghanistan. That is one big old bomb. Guaranteed to rattle the teeth of everyone for miles.
That baby will definitely crush all the bad guys and anyone else who might be in the area, but hey they shouldn’t be there growing crops, raising kids, or selling stuff, ’cause it’s dangerous.
It reminds me of the time Ed Wilbur dropped a stink bomb in my grade 10 math class. That thing cleared out a whole wing of the school. Ed got a whole lot more respect after that, ’cause he was the man with the bomb. My pal Donald Trump is now the man with the missiles and the really, really, really big bomb.
I assure you this is not a case of penis envy. Just cause he needs to launch penis-shaped projectiles and bombs doesn’t mean there is a problem. In his own words “I assure you there is no problem”. And while I am at it, I am sure his hands are just fine too, even if they are a bit on the small side.
So as I hunker down here in my bunker with 14 beer barrels to protect and nourish me, I once again salute Donald Trump for knowing how to make a really good show. I thought his tv show was awesome, but this is even better. Now when he fires someone, he literally sets fire to them. Fantastic.
And one more thing, just a reminder that I am now selling my new adult diapers especially for news anchors who wet themselves when describing “the beauty of our weapons”. Don’t worry Donnie Drunkard has your back … and your front too. So pick up a bundle of “News Poopers” today, they will keep you dry when you watch the next attack.