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Wire-Tapping Trump Tower

My buddy Donald Trump is being picked on yet again. The poor guy, just because he said Obama wire-tapped him, everybody thinks he is coming unglued. Sure he has thrown some temper tantrums, but that is understandable because he has a tough job and sometimes you have to yell when you aren’t getting the right kind of publicity. The presidency is, after all, the ultimate reality tv show, so ratings are key!

To get back to this whole wire-tapping thing, all they have to do is to check the trunk of Obama’s car to find those phony telephone company uniforms he must have used when he snuck into Trump tower. I am betting they will find a toolbox in there as well. Sure he is a lawyer, but they take courses on communications technology at law school too. I am sure they do!

Let’s face it, they wire-tapped his phones so they could figure out what his next tweet would be. Once you have that information you can anti-tweet before the actual tweet, right? It becomes a kind of twitter hack war. Clearly that would undermine democracy as we know it. We deserve tweets that are unfiltered and unfettered. I am sure the founding fathers would agree!

My theory is that they were trying to get information on his tax returns, which are still a secret, because he doesn’t want everyone to know how mad rich he really is, right?

Also these wire-tappers were trying to find out how to buy and sell real estate since Trump University is now gone, they can’t get it there, so they had to steal it with a wire tap! Am I right? Of course I am!

The bottom line is, to prevent this kind of thing, everyone in the trump administration needs to wrap their phones in tin foil. This will prevent future bugging. Furthermore putting a large tin foil dome over meeting participants will also shut out the snoopers.

As for me, I just get really drunk and then no one understands a word I am saying anyway. Speaking of which, my glass is empty, so I gotta go, talk to you next time.



Donnie Drunkard stumbled into the Old Strathcona offices on his way to the bar and he has never left. Too bad we decided to put a keg in the coffee room. Donnie sees the world through an alcoholic haze, and is convinced that he is a stable genius.

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