Hey it's your old Pal Donnie Drunkard and I am back and badder than ever!…
I am thrilled to announce for all those celebrities who face continual embarrassments and faux-pas that I, Fred Moople have a solution to your problem.
It is very simple, you the celebrity are surrounded by people who are riding on your celeb-back and just want to maximize the ride for their benefit even if it means you eventually go down in flames.
Now you can sign up for the Fred Moople Real Friend Service that guarantees we are different from all the other sycophants and hangers-on you have in your life.
The Fred Moople Real Friend Service is provided as a low cost monthly subscription and we are there for you when you need us. We do the right thing for you and tell you the unvarnished truth every time.
How does this all work? Let me give you a few examples.
Your current friends say: “Charlie your rants are so awesome and funny, don’t stop!”
We say: “Charlie, lets get to rehab and counseling right now!”
Your current friends say: “Kim you should show more of your super ass”.
We say: “Kim, you will always be a giant bimbo if you continue to act like one.”
Your current friends say: “Donald you are the saviour of the world!”
We say: “Donald, it’s time to admit you aren’t a well man and are in need of help.”
Your current friends come out and party with you all night.
We would tell you to go to bed early, eat your veggies and join a yoga class.
Imagine having a real friend for a low monthly subscription, what could be better than that?
You can contact me here for details.
– your soon to be best friend, Fred.