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Why Nepotism is Good

Hey all, its Donnie Drunkard, once again coming straight at you from under my own kitchen table. My local bar has closed down due to this Corona virus hoax, so I got to operate from here. Fortunately the boys at the bar still deliver, so I ordered 14 cases of Old Liver Blaster and I should be good for a few days.

Ok, so today’s topic is about why nepotism is so great. In case you don’t know, nepotism means you hire your kids and relatives for jobs they aren’t qualified for, but it means you no longer have to support them… ’cause they got a job!

I love Jared Kushner, the kid looks great like he shaves with mothers milk and then spray paints his face with varathane. Really smooth man!

Ok let’s cut right to the chase. Nepotism is great. It means you can keep a close eye on your kids ’cause they are at work with you and they are making money either directly from a salary or indirectly by selling influence and access. What a great system eh?

My buddy Donald Trump has, as usual, turned this into an art form. He gets away with blatant nepotism by distracting the press so much with all the crap he says, they don’t even mention it anymore. Brilliant!

Ok, so the other day Jared jumps into a press conference so he can explain to state governors that they are on their own and not to expect handouts from the feds for essential medical equipment. After all, the feds have a really great stockpile and need to keep it for themselves. Helping the states would just deplete it, right?

See that’s nepotism at work. You have a guy who knows nothing about government, health care or any other thing that would be useful to someone who had actually been hired based on competence rather than nepotism. He just gets to say whatever he wants and he can’t be fired or even reprimanded. Awesome!

Ok think about how this can work in your own life. Hire relatives to work for you and I am sure you will see how you prosper.

Speaking of that, the picture for this post is a portrait of my nephew Billy, who I have retained to hold down the kitchen table. He does a great job!

You know I am always here for you. Think of me as that drunken uncle from your kids wedding who fell into the wedding cake and set the place on fire. Crazy, but you still love me, right?

Ok all, I will see you soon, well at least as soon as my double vision clears up!

Bye for now.

— Donnie

Donnie Drunkard stumbled into the Old Strathcona offices on his way to the bar and he has never left. Too bad we decided to put a keg in the coffee room. Donnie sees the world through an alcoholic haze, and is convinced that he is a stable genius.

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