So I’m into my 12th beer and I hear about the latest executive orders from Donald Trump and I am like, “wow this is awesome”. If I were emperor, I mean president that’s how I would do it. I would totally order the crap out of people, ’cause I know more than they do, and let’s face it, democracy sucks. We can’t have average people participating in decision making, that would just be out and out chaos. Believe me I know chaos, you should see my bathroom!
I am a student of human nature. Take my sometimes friend Fred for example. Sure the guy is smart and all that, but he doesn’t understand human nature. We operate on greed, selfishness and being suspicious of people who are not like us. That’s the way we do it. I have learned everything I need to know, right here on my favorite bar stool. (I like it because I fall of way less than I used to do).
But back to my original point. Yeah, ban them all. I want to ban guys from my bar I don’t like and make everyone here work cheap and for no tips. That way I can drink more and tell everyone how smart I am.
Oh and one more thing, before I forget. I am ready to advise Mr. Trump any time he needs it, ’cause I am drunk enough to think just like he does.