How to be a Troll

Hello all, Fred Moople here. As you will recall I am the Director of the Moople Academy for Advanced Studies. Today I want to talk about the “Doing Internet Stuff” department within the Academy. We offer many valuable courses on how to get it done on the Internet. We cover everything from how to make a Facebook page right up to building an online eCommerce store. But today, I want to talk about our new course “How to be a Troll“.

In this course you will learn:

• How to pick a really stupid identity you can hide behind
• How to hurl insults (never respond to content)
• How to find sites that offer opinions you disagree with, so you can troll them.
• A list of handy phrases you can use like:
  • Go sit on it!
  • You are complete moron.
  • You are ugly and your mom is a Ho.
  • My dog is smarter than you.
  • You are losers
• How to claim your are an expert on things you know nothing about
• How to make up fake quotations and attribute them to people who never said them.
• How to make up false histories for people you are attacking
• Make sure you use “lol” in your posts a lot, to make it look like you are laughing
• How to create and use hashtags like #loser, #idiot, #dumbo etc.

As you can see we offer a rich curriculum, which is an invaluable resource for troll wannabes.

Please pay for your course in advance, because we just don’t trust your lying ass and have a nice day.

— FM